Monday, January 19th, 2009.

This is a true story:

The city of Tempe sent a letter to my roommates and me telling us that we had to cut the grass in our front yard. We had neglected to cut our lawn for about four months prior to this, and whenever I would walk to my car, I would always fear a small animal, a snake, or even Orange Cat to jump out of the tall grass and fucking destroy me.
Anyways, we paid two guys to take care of the yard for $40 total. I wasn't home when they attended our yard, but when I came home, Trevor had told me that they had found human shit in our yard. At first, Trevor assumed it was just a large dog's doings, but the strapping young lads insisted that it was human shit. Trevor paid them an extra $20 for cleaning it up.
Now I do not know what was more depressing: accepting the fact that someone took a shit in our yard in such a hate-filled manner, or the few seconds it took me to wonder whether or not it was me.