This bothers me:
"It took me awhile to decide if I should write this bio in the third person but then figured how personal is that? I mean this is facebook, the most intimate of all internet sites, so I just need to be me. There is no grand story of how I stumbled into comedy and to be honest, here I am almost 3 years later and have come to learn the stumbling never really stops. There is nothing out there like being on a stage in front of the world...or at least a couple hundred people you bribed to come see you that night...but it’s a rush that doesn’t go away, it just makes you crave it more. Thanks to a recent event at a show...I have come to the realization of the obvious. The best part of being a stand up comedian is that night in and night out, unless you’re a hack, you get to take yourself on stage. Just like in everyday life, some will love you, some will hate you, some won’t get you. Regardless of the situation, they will all respect you and it’s kinda cool to know that, good show or "bad" show, another mic is waiting tomorrow to do it all over again. I feel very blessed to do what I do for a living and get no greater enjoyment than knowing I may have made someone’s day better because of something I had to say that they could relate to on some level. You never know why someone needs or wants to laugh, maybe it was a bad day, week, month, maybe you are celebrating something, maybe you just wanna go out and forget your troubles, whatever the reason, I enjoy the opportunity to leave an impression when you come to my show. So, if you are interested in booking info for clubs, parties, or corporate events send me a message here or contact me at... otherwise I’ll look forward to seeing you at a show, and please say hi...see ya soon"
As you can probably tell, this was written by someone who has done/still currently does stand up comedy in Arizona. No, it wasn't me (thank god). But why does this make me want to slowly rip out every organ in my body through my dickhole you ask? Don't worry, I'll explain:
- We get it, brah. You like making people laugh. Who doesn't? You don't have to write a fucking novel about it, man. Just say, "I like to make people laugh" or "I consider myself as a comedian."
- What is your definition of a "bad" show?
- Fuck, dude.
- This seems more of a desperate plea for others to consider you as a comedian than any actual description about you, defeating the purpose of a "Bio."
- You open your Facebook Bio with, "It took me awhile to decide if I should write this bio in the third person but then figured how personal is that?" This sentence is unnecessary and I'm sure that you spent a lot of time on this. More importantly, it is "a while," sir.
- "There is no grand story of how I stumbled into comedy and to be honest, here I am almost 3 years later and have come to learn the stumbling never really stops." Not really helping your case of trying to convince people that you're a comedian, eh Anthony?
- REPLACE YOUR ELLIPSES WITH COMMAS, DUDE.
- "You never know why someone needs or wants to laugh, maybe it was a bad day, week, month, maybe you are celebrating something, maybe you just wanna go out and forget your troubles, whatever the reason, I enjoy the opportunity to leave an impression when you come to my show." Yes, because you MUST have a reason to want/need to laugh.
At first I was paranoid of posting this, but I really don't care if this guy reads it, to be honest. I feel justified because this is what comes up if you are looking at his profile and are not friends with him on Facebook.
