I Coul'da Been A Contender

I still do not know what to make of my night. We shall start at approximately 5:00PM.

I was paying tuition for Summer classes at SCC (I guess that is my own fault why my night began so depressingly) when I called a coworker I had previously discussed switching shifts with. Simultaneously, I began driving to the Gamestop in Tempe Marketplace to purchase a PS2 memory card so that I could play Kingdom Hearts 2(Again, my fault). While in Gamestop, I had agreed to come into work at 7:00PM in exchange for her covering my Sunday shift so I can attend the barbeque that my Mom keeps threatening me to attend. Sweet life, brahz0RzZz?

When I came into work, I was given the impression that it had been a slow day. I also was informed that I would be working by myself all night.

@$ +1m3 w3N+ b1, $#33y1+ 60+ cR@zZzZzzz33333333!!!!!11!!LOLOLOLOLZOEY101!!!

I took 9 orders on a single run three separate times, and was incredibly late to about 80% of all deliveries. At first I thought I could handle it, but when I faced my first "9-banger," I instantly grew concerned. I'm pretty sure it was at this point when I discovered the new kid, the bro-dawg who was supposed to be "on-call" in case shit got busy, was piss drunk in a bar.

Apparently, another manager at my store told the kid to expect us to know whether or not we will need his help by 7:00PM. I had no idea of this and didn't need to call him until 10:00PM. I'm not mad at him because I could understand him not getting a call and assuming that he wasn't needed. I just don't understand why this manager would deem 7PM a reasonable time for that. The manager I was working with convinced me that the new kid was kind of retarded, and didn't have the skillzzzzZz to create such a creative lie. So, I have no fucking idea. In all honesty, I was just pissed that I had to deliver 1 hour plus old food to everyone, all night.

But as I continued my journey, I realized that people were very understanding of the situation and hooked it the fuck up. I also realized at the end of the night that I was in the store for a total of approximately 30 minutes (prior to d01n6 d@ d1$#3zZz). Every time I would walk into the store, I would see a mountain of brown bags next to towers of cola. I would pack my delivery bags and get the fuck out.

The greatest thing is that I truly did not give a fuck past 10:30PM. It is also worthy to point out that no drugs and or alcohol was consumed from the hours of 5PM-3:45AM. I was comfortable at the rate in which I was delivering the sandwiches. If anyone complained, fuck them. I got back to the store and only had to do the dishes. My manager cleaned the lobby for me and I was home by 3:45AM. Get the fuck out. Geeeeeeet the fuck out. That shit should not have turned out so fucking cool. WU TANG LIKE A MOTHER FUCKER!

I went home, made a shit ton of oatmeal and played Kingdom Hearts 2... then obviously wrote this. But anyways, here was some notable moments that occurred throughout my night:

1)I saw one of my coworker's two children, and their mother. She approached me as I was entering my vehicle holding two full delivery bags, and asked me if he was working. I told her yes, and she called to her kids, "Come on, kids, let's go see Daddy." Awesome.

2)This kid who lives in on those shitty apartments at 710 S. Hardy gave some bullshit address when ordering. I went to this nonexistent address and found nothing. I called him and instantly knew this kid sucked. He mumbled on the phone that he lived a quarter mile south, then proceeded to give me $10 for an $8.33 order. He then looked inside my car and said, "I'll let you keep the rest if I can bum a cig." I looked at him and said, "You have to be fucking kidding me kid. I have no time for this," and sped off. SlaaaAAAAmMm Duncan!

3)I delivered to a strip club. When I walked in, there was a man behind the counter in the little room right outside d@ t1tzZzZ Z0n333!!! This is how the conversation went:

Guy: Are you.. (Pauses, looks at paper)...Brian? (Creepy.)
Me: Yes.
Guy: One of the guys left and doesn't want to pay for his sandwich, I called your boss... (Pauses, looks at paper) ...*Daniel* and he said to talk to... (Pauses, looks at paper)...Brian. He said that $11.12 is the new price.

He then showed me the paper that he kept referencing, and on this 8"x11" sheet, scattered out of course, were the words "Sam," "Brian," and the numbers "11.12."
You cannot make this shit up.