Thursday, May 21, 2009
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Follow Up: Wednesday, May 13th, 2009
I am rewriting this entry because there is more to include and focus upon. Here was the original entry:
10 PM - I have one coworker begging me for any type of drug. He has told me he has been awake since Sunday and has neglected to tell me why. He continues to mumble in my direction and get frustrated when I have no fucking clue what he's talking about. Sweet life, bro?
This coworker approached me several times, expressing his desire to do any drug possible. He then proceeded to list every drug known to man. I just nodded and went back to work. He did this three times that night. He then told me he had not slept for 3 days and neglected to answer why. Not suspicious at all, huh, bro?
This same character will get mad at you if you do not: a) understand what he says, b) agree with what he says, and c) pay attention to his nonsense ramblings.
During his shift, he proclaimed that he was not going to do anything for the rest of the night as he was sitting down. This is how it went down:
Coworker: Yo, dawg. I'ma sit down and do nothin' fo' tha rest of duh nyght.
Me: Be careful, dude, Big Brother is watching.
Coworker: Yo, dawg, whoz Big Brotha?
Me: (standing silent in awe.)
I refused to explain to him the reference of Big Brother, and as the night progressed, he continued to guess who Big Brother could possibly be. Also during that night, the air conditioning was broke, causing a ruckus amongst the disgruntled employees. He then called us pussies for complaining about the heat, instantly followed by him announcing to everyone that he wishes he was skinny.
"Yo, Brian, how'd you get so skinny?"
The only response I could give him was, "It's a dedication to a healthy eating habit and lifestyle, dude." He then decided to cut only bacon out of his diet. This coworker was fired shortly after. See Trevor's blog for the scoop!
10 PM - I have one coworker begging me for any type of drug. He has told me he has been awake since Sunday and has neglected to tell me why. He continues to mumble in my direction and get frustrated when I have no fucking clue what he's talking about. Sweet life, bro?
This coworker approached me several times, expressing his desire to do any drug possible. He then proceeded to list every drug known to man. I just nodded and went back to work. He did this three times that night. He then told me he had not slept for 3 days and neglected to answer why. Not suspicious at all, huh, bro?
This same character will get mad at you if you do not: a) understand what he says, b) agree with what he says, and c) pay attention to his nonsense ramblings.
During his shift, he proclaimed that he was not going to do anything for the rest of the night as he was sitting down. This is how it went down:
Coworker: Yo, dawg. I'ma sit down and do nothin' fo' tha rest of duh nyght.
Me: Be careful, dude, Big Brother is watching.
Coworker: Yo, dawg, whoz Big Brotha?
Me: (standing silent in awe.)
I refused to explain to him the reference of Big Brother, and as the night progressed, he continued to guess who Big Brother could possibly be. Also during that night, the air conditioning was broke, causing a ruckus amongst the disgruntled employees. He then called us pussies for complaining about the heat, instantly followed by him announcing to everyone that he wishes he was skinny.
"Yo, Brian, how'd you get so skinny?"
The only response I could give him was, "It's a dedication to a healthy eating habit and lifestyle, dude." He then decided to cut only bacon out of his diet. This coworker was fired shortly after. See Trevor's blog for the scoop!
I Coul'da Been A Contender
I still do not know what to make of my night. We shall start at approximately 5:00PM.
I was paying tuition for Summer classes at SCC (I guess that is my own fault why my night began so depressingly) when I called a coworker I had previously discussed switching shifts with. Simultaneously, I began driving to the Gamestop in Tempe Marketplace to purchase a PS2 memory card so that I could play Kingdom Hearts 2(Again, my fault). While in Gamestop, I had agreed to come into work at 7:00PM in exchange for her covering my Sunday shift so I can attend the barbeque that my Mom keeps threatening me to attend. Sweet life, brahz0RzZz?
When I came into work, I was given the impression that it had been a slow day. I also was informed that I would be working by myself all night.
@$ +1m3 w3N+ b1, $#33y1+ 60+ cR@zZzZzzz33333333!!!!!11!!LOLOLOLOLZOEY101!!!
I took 9 orders on a single run three separate times, and was incredibly late to about 80% of all deliveries. At first I thought I could handle it, but when I faced my first "9-banger," I instantly grew concerned. I'm pretty sure it was at this point when I discovered the new kid, the bro-dawg who was supposed to be "on-call" in case shit got busy, was piss drunk in a bar.
Apparently, another manager at my store told the kid to expect us to know whether or not we will need his help by 7:00PM. I had no idea of this and didn't need to call him until 10:00PM. I'm not mad at him because I could understand him not getting a call and assuming that he wasn't needed. I just don't understand why this manager would deem 7PM a reasonable time for that. The manager I was working with convinced me that the new kid was kind of retarded, and didn't have the skillzzzzZz to create such a creative lie. So, I have no fucking idea. In all honesty, I was just pissed that I had to deliver 1 hour plus old food to everyone, all night.
But as I continued my journey, I realized that people were very understanding of the situation and hooked it the fuck up. I also realized at the end of the night that I was in the store for a total of approximately 30 minutes (prior to d01n6 d@ d1$#3zZz). Every time I would walk into the store, I would see a mountain of brown bags next to towers of cola. I would pack my delivery bags and get the fuck out.
The greatest thing is that I truly did not give a fuck past 10:30PM. It is also worthy to point out that no drugs and or alcohol was consumed from the hours of 5PM-3:45AM. I was comfortable at the rate in which I was delivering the sandwiches. If anyone complained, fuck them. I got back to the store and only had to do the dishes. My manager cleaned the lobby for me and I was home by 3:45AM. Get the fuck out. Geeeeeeet the fuck out. That shit should not have turned out so fucking cool. WU TANG LIKE A MOTHER FUCKER!
I went home, made a shit ton of oatmeal and played Kingdom Hearts 2... then obviously wrote this. But anyways, here was some notable moments that occurred throughout my night:
1)I saw one of my coworker's two children, and their mother. She approached me as I was entering my vehicle holding two full delivery bags, and asked me if he was working. I told her yes, and she called to her kids, "Come on, kids, let's go see Daddy." Awesome.
2)This kid who lives in on those shitty apartments at 710 S. Hardy gave some bullshit address when ordering. I went to this nonexistent address and found nothing. I called him and instantly knew this kid sucked. He mumbled on the phone that he lived a quarter mile south, then proceeded to give me $10 for an $8.33 order. He then looked inside my car and said, "I'll let you keep the rest if I can bum a cig." I looked at him and said, "You have to be fucking kidding me kid. I have no time for this," and sped off. SlaaaAAAAmMm Duncan!
3)I delivered to a strip club. When I walked in, there was a man behind the counter in the little room right outside d@ t1tzZzZ Z0n333!!! This is how the conversation went:
Guy: Are you.. (Pauses, looks at paper)...Brian? (Creepy.)
Me: Yes.
Guy: One of the guys left and doesn't want to pay for his sandwich, I called your boss... (Pauses, looks at paper) ...*Daniel* and he said to talk to... (Pauses, looks at paper)...Brian. He said that $11.12 is the new price.
He then showed me the paper that he kept referencing, and on this 8"x11" sheet, scattered out of course, were the words "Sam," "Brian," and the numbers "11.12."
You cannot make this shit up.
I was paying tuition for Summer classes at SCC (I guess that is my own fault why my night began so depressingly) when I called a coworker I had previously discussed switching shifts with. Simultaneously, I began driving to the Gamestop in Tempe Marketplace to purchase a PS2 memory card so that I could play Kingdom Hearts 2(Again, my fault). While in Gamestop, I had agreed to come into work at 7:00PM in exchange for her covering my Sunday shift so I can attend the barbeque that my Mom keeps threatening me to attend. Sweet life, brahz0RzZz?
When I came into work, I was given the impression that it had been a slow day. I also was informed that I would be working by myself all night.
@$ +1m3 w3N+ b1, $#33y1+ 60+ cR@zZzZzzz33333333!!!!!11!!LOLOLOLOLZOEY101!!!
I took 9 orders on a single run three separate times, and was incredibly late to about 80% of all deliveries. At first I thought I could handle it, but when I faced my first "9-banger," I instantly grew concerned. I'm pretty sure it was at this point when I discovered the new kid, the bro-dawg who was supposed to be "on-call" in case shit got busy, was piss drunk in a bar.
Apparently, another manager at my store told the kid to expect us to know whether or not we will need his help by 7:00PM. I had no idea of this and didn't need to call him until 10:00PM. I'm not mad at him because I could understand him not getting a call and assuming that he wasn't needed. I just don't understand why this manager would deem 7PM a reasonable time for that. The manager I was working with convinced me that the new kid was kind of retarded, and didn't have the skillzzzzZz to create such a creative lie. So, I have no fucking idea. In all honesty, I was just pissed that I had to deliver 1 hour plus old food to everyone, all night.
But as I continued my journey, I realized that people were very understanding of the situation and hooked it the fuck up. I also realized at the end of the night that I was in the store for a total of approximately 30 minutes (prior to d01n6 d@ d1$#3zZz). Every time I would walk into the store, I would see a mountain of brown bags next to towers of cola. I would pack my delivery bags and get the fuck out.
The greatest thing is that I truly did not give a fuck past 10:30PM. It is also worthy to point out that no drugs and or alcohol was consumed from the hours of 5PM-3:45AM. I was comfortable at the rate in which I was delivering the sandwiches. If anyone complained, fuck them. I got back to the store and only had to do the dishes. My manager cleaned the lobby for me and I was home by 3:45AM. Get the fuck out. Geeeeeeet the fuck out. That shit should not have turned out so fucking cool. WU TANG LIKE A MOTHER FUCKER!
I went home, made a shit ton of oatmeal and played Kingdom Hearts 2... then obviously wrote this. But anyways, here was some notable moments that occurred throughout my night:
1)I saw one of my coworker's two children, and their mother. She approached me as I was entering my vehicle holding two full delivery bags, and asked me if he was working. I told her yes, and she called to her kids, "Come on, kids, let's go see Daddy." Awesome.
2)This kid who lives in on those shitty apartments at 710 S. Hardy gave some bullshit address when ordering. I went to this nonexistent address and found nothing. I called him and instantly knew this kid sucked. He mumbled on the phone that he lived a quarter mile south, then proceeded to give me $10 for an $8.33 order. He then looked inside my car and said, "I'll let you keep the rest if I can bum a cig." I looked at him and said, "You have to be fucking kidding me kid. I have no time for this," and sped off. SlaaaAAAAmMm Duncan!
3)I delivered to a strip club. When I walked in, there was a man behind the counter in the little room right outside d@ t1tzZzZ Z0n333!!! This is how the conversation went:
Guy: Are you.. (Pauses, looks at paper)...Brian? (Creepy.)
Me: Yes.
Guy: One of the guys left and doesn't want to pay for his sandwich, I called your boss... (Pauses, looks at paper) ...*Daniel* and he said to talk to... (Pauses, looks at paper)...Brian. He said that $11.12 is the new price.
He then showed me the paper that he kept referencing, and on this 8"x11" sheet, scattered out of course, were the words "Sam," "Brian," and the numbers "11.12."
You cannot make this shit up.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Wednesday, May 13th, 2009
10 PM - I have one coworker begging me for any type of drug. He has told me he has been awake since Sunday and has neglected to tell me why. He continues to mumble in my direction and get frustrated when I have no fucking clue what he's talking about. Sweet life, bro?
Monday, May 11, 2009
Facebook Rap Battle
I updated my Facebook with the opening lyrics to Old Dirty Bastard's "Brooklyn Zoo." People then began replying with verses. Here it goes:
Brian Rhoads I'm the one-man army Ason, I've never been tooken out, I keep M.C.'s lookin' out, I drop science like girls be droppin' babies, Enough to make a sucka go cra-a-azy.
Kengo Sun at 6:02pm May 9
I'm the master rapper and I'm here to say
I love Fruity Pebbles in a major way!
The bedrock yellow orange purple lime and red
But to get that fruity taste, I gotta trick Fred!
Brian Rhoads at 6:09pm May 9
Fruity Pebbles be spinnin' up yo dome,
that's why I slang that straight Honeycomb.
Slammin' that cereal, yo I gotta lisp
my mouf is overflowin' wiff Cookie Crisp.
Dustin Rhoads at 6:42pm May 9
Hey can i join in this sounds fun
its all about the frosted mini wheats son
serious on one side, frosted on the other
you get the best of both worlds there brother
Kelly Ng at 7:23pm May 9
Even though y'all be cookin' up rhymes like Bobby flay,
It don't hide the fact that your still gay.
We all know oat-meal, is the real deal,
If you wanna be swoll like me, O-Meal is unreal.
Brian Rhoads at 3:29am May 10
Listen up kids, G-Raff's gotta lesson,
I've got some beef with this breakfast session.
I've gotta lay it down, yo, I gotta boast,
RIDE OR DIE FOR THIS MOTHER FUCKING FRENCH TOAST.
Tops it up with that canned whipped dairy,... Read More
TOPPLE THAT SHIT WITH SOME BOMB ASS STRAWBERRIES!!
I love the French Toast, I must confess,
Never have syrup, that shit is a mess.
BREAK IT DOWN!!!!!
(pelvic thrusts)
SLAM DUNK ON YO FAAAAAAYCE!!!!
Kengo Sun at 7:57am May 10
The problem with french toast is you can't put your dick in it.
I throw a bagels on my shit, and straight spin it.
Breakfast sex, that's where it's at son.
You can keep the margarine, I'll butter my own bun.
Biscuits and gravy on this breakfast jingle... Read More
Fetish time, I just shit on a shingle.
Danny Vega at 8:02am May 10
gotta disagree, cause cereal ain't for me
it's the hot foods that taste most deliciously
i find eggs to be supremely dominant
bacon and links throw em in an omelette
gimme some pancakes butter on top... Read More
start with 3, then add mo, like a poker flop
need some energy need an espresso
like magic i'm up, sip sip and presto
your mom makes it so good bet you're incestual
want some thin cakes now, so gimme some crepes
make bread too so im not all that's baked!
Kelly Ng at 3:58pm May 10
All this jawing is making turning me into Starvin' Marvin'
So if you got a turkey please start carvin'
You ass holes gotta feed this beast,
I'M BOUT TO SLAUGHTER THE FIRST LIVING THING I SEE FOR MY BEAST FEAST!
Now you done it, I'm drinking the blood of a PIGEON,... Read More
I've degraded myself by just a SMIDGEON.
I can see it now, from SARS I'm gonna die,
God, I just wanna crawl in a hole and cry.
you bastards caused this meltdown,
don't make me strip down and give you the run down!
(strips naked, but does not give any form of a run down)
MANIFEST DESTINYYYYYY!!!!!
Wild.
Brian Rhoads I'm the one-man army Ason, I've never been tooken out, I keep M.C.'s lookin' out, I drop science like girls be droppin' babies, Enough to make a sucka go cra-a-azy.
Kengo Sun at 6:02pm May 9
I'm the master rapper and I'm here to say
I love Fruity Pebbles in a major way!
The bedrock yellow orange purple lime and red
But to get that fruity taste, I gotta trick Fred!
Brian Rhoads at 6:09pm May 9
Fruity Pebbles be spinnin' up yo dome,
that's why I slang that straight Honeycomb.
Slammin' that cereal, yo I gotta lisp
my mouf is overflowin' wiff Cookie Crisp.
Dustin Rhoads at 6:42pm May 9
Hey can i join in this sounds fun
its all about the frosted mini wheats son
serious on one side, frosted on the other
you get the best of both worlds there brother
Kelly Ng at 7:23pm May 9
Even though y'all be cookin' up rhymes like Bobby flay,
It don't hide the fact that your still gay.
We all know oat-meal, is the real deal,
If you wanna be swoll like me, O-Meal is unreal.
Brian Rhoads at 3:29am May 10
Listen up kids, G-Raff's gotta lesson,
I've got some beef with this breakfast session.
I've gotta lay it down, yo, I gotta boast,
RIDE OR DIE FOR THIS MOTHER FUCKING FRENCH TOAST.
Tops it up with that canned whipped dairy,... Read More
TOPPLE THAT SHIT WITH SOME BOMB ASS STRAWBERRIES!!
I love the French Toast, I must confess,
Never have syrup, that shit is a mess.
BREAK IT DOWN!!!!!
(pelvic thrusts)
SLAM DUNK ON YO FAAAAAAYCE!!!!
Kengo Sun at 7:57am May 10
The problem with french toast is you can't put your dick in it.
I throw a bagels on my shit, and straight spin it.
Breakfast sex, that's where it's at son.
You can keep the margarine, I'll butter my own bun.
Biscuits and gravy on this breakfast jingle... Read More
Fetish time, I just shit on a shingle.
Danny Vega at 8:02am May 10
gotta disagree, cause cereal ain't for me
it's the hot foods that taste most deliciously
i find eggs to be supremely dominant
bacon and links throw em in an omelette
gimme some pancakes butter on top... Read More
start with 3, then add mo, like a poker flop
need some energy need an espresso
like magic i'm up, sip sip and presto
your mom makes it so good bet you're incestual
want some thin cakes now, so gimme some crepes
make bread too so im not all that's baked!
Kelly Ng at 3:58pm May 10
All this jawing is making turning me into Starvin' Marvin'
So if you got a turkey please start carvin'
You ass holes gotta feed this beast,
I'M BOUT TO SLAUGHTER THE FIRST LIVING THING I SEE FOR MY BEAST FEAST!
Now you done it, I'm drinking the blood of a PIGEON,... Read More
I've degraded myself by just a SMIDGEON.
I can see it now, from SARS I'm gonna die,
God, I just wanna crawl in a hole and cry.
you bastards caused this meltdown,
don't make me strip down and give you the run down!
(strips naked, but does not give any form of a run down)
MANIFEST DESTINYYYYYY!!!!!
Wild.
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