R33F3R M@DN355

Before 7 am today, I had been asked for r33f3r twice.

First Occurance (6:35 am): Upon boarding the lightrail, a kid who appeared to be fifteen made eye contact with me and motioned for me to take off my headphones. After pausing my mp3 player (which I must use the term "mp3 player" because I do not have an ipod or other mp3 player that is recognizable by one word), I leaned in closer to hear the kid's request.

KID "Hey man, you get down?"
ME "Pardon?"
KID "You smoke?"
ME "Yes. Are you asking me for a cigarette?"
KID "Naw, dawg. Do you have any bud?"

His query was quite audible to anyone and everyone else on the lightrail. He even said the word "bud" real shitty-like, kind of how they do in those very religious after school specials. You know, where the square gets handed a joint and after figuring out what it is sheepishly asks, "Is this... mar-uh-wanna?"

ME "No, dude."
KID "Why not?"
ME "I'm in public."
KID "So?"
ME "No, dude."

At this point, I carry on with my mp3 player and watch him mouth the words "mother fucker" at me. We remained silent for the remainder of my lightrail experience.

Second Occurance (6:50 am): Walking towards school, I was moving along on University Dr. when I notice a girl sticking her head out of her window while driving. She made a very unsafe left turn and came to a screetching halt. Initially, I was confused. She called me over to her window, and because I am dumb, I followed. Immediately, this scene looking kid jumps out of the passenger seat and shakes my hands like we've been boys for years. I had a hard time listening to him due to the fact that I was still trying to figure out if I knew/was supposed to know this guy.

SCENE KID "Hey, yo, man. You know where I can find some r33f3r?"
ME "Right now?"
SCENE KID "Yeah."
ME "It's daylight."
SCENE KID "I know."
ME "No, bro."

He instantly becomes disgusted with me and runs back to the car he hopped out of. They pulled back towards University Dr. and flipped me off before they sped off. TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT.

Now, I understand that I look like I partake in r33f3r related activities, but to assume that I am carrying r33f3r on me at all times (especially in broad daylight and in public) is just fucking obscene. People do not know the proper way of acquiring r33f3r. When I used to work with Trevor (at a location that will not be mentioned or discussed whatsoever), he retorted to a young patron who had made the same mistake as my forementioned run-ins, saying, "You are either a terrible undercover cop or just fucking dumb." I feel like I will be asked at least 2 more times today by complete strangers, and 3 more times by people I actually know. Man, fuck.