Every semester for ASUComedy auditions, we write terrible fucking sketches in hopes that people who are auditioning will make it funny. I am trying to make it impossible.
Here is my sketch.
(Lights up on a man and a woman walking to a check out counter.)
GARY: I just don't understand why you can't buy them yourself!
LISA: I told you already, I just want company.
GARY: But you're buying tampons.
LISA: Stop being such a pussy. I need to go grab some more things, I'll be right back.
GARY: Hurry up! We are next.
(Lisa leaves)
CLERK: Welcome to Walmart.
GARY: Uh, hi. I guess we'll just take these.
CLERK: Is this a joke, sir?
GARY: What?
CLERK: You're a boy.
GARY: Yes.
CLERK: A boy buying tampons.
GARY: Yes.
CLERK: Alright, sir, I'm going to have to ask you to leave.
(Lisa enters.)
LISA: Hey Gary, I found those Men's One-A-Day vitamins you've been looking for.
CLERK: Now what's this?
LISA: What?
CLERK: A woman buying man pills and a man buying tampons?! What kind of game are you two playing here?
GARY: I was just buying my girlfriend tampons...
CLERK: I don't want to even know what YOU are going to do with those, pervert!
LISA: (To Gary) Is this guy serious?
CLERK: Are YOU serious?
LISA: What?
CLERK: Zibbity ZOP ZOP ZOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!
(The clerk then proceeds to get naked.)
GARY: You make everything awful, Lisa.
(Lightz)
4 comments:
i give you both a lame and a slam duncan.
OMGZORRR ZOOOOPITY!!
i'm going to kill you when every idiot who auditions with this actually takes their clothes off.
...said audrey.
This is fucking terrible.
Don't cast the faggot who takes his shoes off, as per usual.
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