Freedom

This week has been absolutely absurd! Re-Re-Re-Recap!

Sunday, June 28th, 2009: While driving home from Gilbert, the wheel well of my mighty CR-V began stripping the rubber right off of my tires while I was on the 101. After shitting my pants, I pulled over and scoped the damage. It WuZ t0rRRr3 uP fRuM d@ fL0 uP but was surprisingly still inflated and holding up the car. I could still move just fine so I decided to take side streets home. Arriving to the house safely, I instantly began changing the tire only to realize that the spare tire was completely flat. Fucking ironic, huh?


Monday, June 29th, 2009: Around 11am, Trevor followed me to the conveniently close Discount Tire. It's not in the shittiest part of Tempe, but never really a pleasure to be in. Ever. My Dad has been politely reminding me to not be fucking retarded and get my wheels aligned. I called the store that Discount Tire recommended and was disappointed to find out that the closest place they endorsed was in the heart of Mesa. Later in the conversation, I find out that they cannot fit me in today. The later half of my day was unsettling due to the facts that:

a) I have to drive to school and work a night shift inside my recently discovered death trap.
b) I just spent $100 on the tire after spending @LL d3m d0LL@zZz on my tattoo (which is officially named "Bro-bot").
c) I have plans to go to Mesa (as opposed to have gone on a whim).

I cannot recall anything worth noting from work, but I can assure you it was awful. I just realized that I refuse to use the word "highway" when in fact referring to an actual highway. Uggh.


Tuesday, June 30th, 2009: I fucking slept through my alarm again and missed my 12:30 appointment time. Luckily, the alignment shop could squeeze me in before class; Now instead of just being disappointed about going to Mesa, I have to hurry to Mesa. Well needless to say, Mesa followed through on it's backwards and primitive ways.


Inside the waiting room/cash register/vending lobby, I watched Judge Alex for one whole hour. Creepy, yes, but what is worse is the man in the white hat. This guy did not blink at all whenever the program was on. He was laughing, groaning, and cheering along for the entire fucking hour.


This lady creeped me out the most. She sat directly to my left and kept looking at me. I definitely get points for this picture.

Wednesday, July 1st, 2009: My Dad called me about a week ago and let me know about this sweet air hockey table and big screen TV that I could have. I can't complain about that at all except for the fact that in order to transport it, I would have to return to Mesa to grab a truck. Other than that one nit-picky sidenote, awesome.

After that, I went to class and work. The only funny part of the night was that I found out one of my coworkers is religious (to what extent, I am not fully positive.) I discovered this during a conversation I was having with a customer. Here is how it went:

Me: (In a Southern Gentleman's voice. Details are unnecessary.) Why, even God himself wouldn't mind a mint julip such as yourself. (Breaking character) Oh, I'm sorry. God HERself.

Coworker: You really believe that?

Me: What? God is a woman?

Coworker: Yeah.

Me: No, I don't believe in God.

Coworker: That's too bad.

Me: Work here for two years...

Matt Dobbins: ...Then we'll ask you about that "God" fellow.


Thursday, July 2nd, 2009: Nothing about Thursday sucked. We drank at Casey's.


Friday, July 3rd, 2009: Today was one of the days I was supposed to request off and because of my negligence, I had to leave Penny's barbecue early. Fucking lame! I will be on the cover of next months edition of DUH Magazine. Meanwhile, work was only bearable due to the people I was working with. Also, I saw a man easily 70+ years old and wearing an Ed Hardy shirt. Ask me for the picture(I got the company logo in there and will not fuck around with that shit). We all came to the conclusion that it must have been a real life Freaky Friday, in which that man was obviously switched with his grandson and the only way to change back is if they truly learn to respect each other.


Saturday, July 4th, 2009: After work (4:45am), I drove to Gilbert to attend my family's barbecue. Yet another barbecue I had to leave early because of work. Barbecues don't happen all the time and I missed two in a fucking row. Sadie was apart of this bike parade where kids decorated their bikes and rode around the man-made lake twice. I have pictures, I just left my camera in G-Town. I really need to stop doing that. They gave some bullshit award to one of the coordinator's kids and Sadie was heartbroken that she did not win "Best Bike." I did not sleep until 9:30am. I refuse to talk about personal family business on the internet, but I will not hide my disapproval of the entire situation. The only words that come to mind are "awful" and "dishonorable."

I had to work out of another location because of Mill Avenue being shut down on the account of the 4th of July festivities at Tempe Town Lake. I didn't know anybody who worked at this store and just stared as they shot off inside jokes. They were cool people, but not my style. This is what one lady ordered:


She was a sweet lady, but what the fuck, dude? Seriously. Here are some things that sucked:

1) Traffic at 10pm. It took me one and a half hours to get to work.
2) I was heard announcing, "I know for a fact that Dream Palace is 18 and up" aloud in the middle of a QT.
3) I am unsatisfied with the quality of my mustache.

Now here are things that were notably awesome:

1) I told a girl,"3y3 3M @LL d@ fYR3w3rkKkz u n33d, 6uRL." She awkwardly laughed as she simultaneously shut the door.
2) Freedom jokes/references.
3) My USA lighter.

I also realized that I have seen every sunrise and sunset this week, just not in the order I would have hoped for. God, I miss sleep.

I kind of feel like I have to sum it all up, but fuck that.