MTV is making it hard to have the sex with high schoolerzZz.

My astronomy test had an extra credit question that said:

"Name the big astronomical event happening next Sunday!!"

And yes, he actually had two exclamation points... Way to go, Steve Muts. Your teaching is outta this world!

I have no fucking idea what is happening next Sunday in Astronomy and neither do you. In the answer space, I wrote "Father's Day, you doofus!" I chuckled at first and began to erase it. Let's face it, I don't want to start shit with Steve Muts and make the next 8 weeks just fucking terrible for myself.

But as I began erasing, I noticed that the eraser on the pencil I borrowed (from Steve Muts) did not erase as planned, but left a horrid, rash-like circle on my paper drawing more attention towards my dickhead comment. I felt obligated to attempt an actual answer and so I wrote "Saturn will be visible" off to the side.

I just reached for my glass of water and as I pulled the glass closer to my mouth, I heard a buzzing noise. Immediately, I turned my head to see what was the matter and saw a fly clinging onto the rim. Thinking nothing of it, I simply blew at the fly which resulted in the fly landing in my glass and dying. Now there is a glass with a dead fly in it sitting on my desk. I almost sipped the fly-water twice while writing that. I think that means I have to quit my job.

Speaking of! At work, I delivered to the same guy twice. Sadly, this has happened to me quite often as well as delivering to the same person for consecutive days and or multiple days of the week. What makes this customer special is that he order twice within the span of two hours. I made and delivered both orders. I saw his depressing apartment, complimented by his loser friend, appropriately sprawled on the couch with some of his stomach showing, twice. Here's how the first conversation went:

Guy paying for food: Silvermine guy!
Mooch loser on couch: Dude, do you want a shot?
Myself, delivering sandwiches: Nah, man. I've gotta expect the max.
Guy paying for food: Like, what's the max?
Mooch doucher: So, um, do you want a beer?
Myself, looking stunning: I'm working, dude. I could go to jail. I do not want to be arrested in a Silvermine t-shirt.
Guy: Aw, come on, bro! Just have one beer.
Myself, delivering justice: Now its awkward, man. I just want to go.

And that is how I exited the scene. I was surprised to see he tipped me well, but it also creeped me out a little more. I imagined he was just embarrassed by the entire scene, but he decided to order again. On the drive over there, I became upset with myself for never putting Trevor's huge flashlight in my car. I was nervous approaching the door; t#@n6z 60t KkR@Z33 L@$t tYm33 3Y3 wUzZ d@r3!!! Here's how it went the second time:

(Door opens)
Guy: Silvermine!
Myself: Hey, guy. Do you have the card it was charged to?
Douche: (Handing over the card) Hey man, do you want a beer?
Myself: (Handing receipt for signature) No. We had this conversation. No.
Guy: (Signing) No way, bro. You sure you don't just want a beer or three for the road?
Myself: (Walking away, shouting) EXPECT THE MAX!

Un-fucking-believable.

Also notable from work: This bro dawg would not answer his phone, thus preventing me from delivering his stupid fucking sandwich and returning to the store. I sat outside his fraternity for 8 minutes, calling him every 2 minutes. I even left him a sassy voicemail. Finally, I honked my horn and shouted "Fuck you, Justin" as loud as I could and sped off. Seriously, fuck you, Justin. Answer your fucking phone.

I think that I am just going to leave that glass on my desk.