Just the other night, while delivering, I came to a kid's apartment and when I knocked on the door, a sudden clatter came amongst the room. All I could hear was the cheers of a small group of people. As the door burst open, their eyes lit up and their teeth came out from hiding. I was like mother fucking Santa Claus to these drunken buffoons.
I looked at one of the people occupying the apartment and as we made eye contact, he screamed, "The sandwich guy is here!" with such an uplifting tone. They tipped for shit, but I wish everyone was that excited to see me.